Learning Curve

Learning Curve

By: Kim Russell

I’m a grown ass, 42 year old woman. I pride myself on being confident enough to stand up for what I believe in. I try speak my mind in a kind and compassionate manner but still be forth coming with my beliefs and not afraid to stand up for them. I am a published author and plan to add another publication to my accomplishments one day. I am a good mom to a great little human being who I believe will make his own mark on this world. I have a successful, respected breeding program. I own my own business. I think my friends and family would say I’m a good person and that means the world to me.

So what does all this have to do with anything? Am I here to brag? No. Bear with me, I’m getting to it. I mention all of these “accomplishments” because I’m not afraid to be proud of myself. I’m not afraid to be confident. I’m also not afraid to admit that I’m not perfect and that I have lots to learn in this life still.

I am here to talk about how in knowing ALL of what I just said to be true, I am still a victim to my own insecurities and sometimes that hits home. I’ve been “in dogs” for ALMOST 25 years (holy shit!). I’ve learned a lot and will continue learning till the day I die. I’ve trained, competed in and tried just about every dog sport under the sun from Obedience, Flyball, Frisbee, Agility, Dock Diving, Barn Hunt and I even set foot in the show ring, once. We’ve done movies, commercials, huge event center shows...we have had success in all of it.

Enter sheep herding. NOTHING has made me feel more humble, inadequate and insecure about my dog handling abilities. The learning curve is mind blowing. Finding someone that knows their stuff, can also teach others and is patient and understanding enough to work with ‘newbies’ in the sheepdog world is tricky at best. Add in the cost of traveling to said trainer enough times to make the training payoff, which is really expensive, yet necessary. Also, a dog with the instinct and aptitude to work sheep is a bonus. It hasn’t always been possible to keep sheep at my own home till the last few years and even then I hesitated until recently to take that plunge because, well, sheep like to try and die and I kinda like alive animals. Anyway, that’s a whole other story.

I have FINALLY come to a point in life within the last year where all of the stars have aligned for me. I have a great dog to work with and learn from as well as some really promising youngsters coming up. I have an AMAZINGLY supportive, motivating instructor who challenges my dogs and I to try harder and do better each time we see him. I have the time and (some) money to pursue more lessons. And I just brought home some sheep. This summer was supposed to be our first official trial. Now we have Covid-19 and all of those plans came to a grinding halt. So, we are home doing our best and continuing to learn.

One thing I've come to realize in this life is that not everyone you meet will be tender towards your feelings or insecurities. Luckily for me I tend to be a bit thicker skinned than some people and I can usually let things slide. However, given the current state of affairs in this world, I find myself being more sensitive lately. Admittedly, I’ve always viewed sensitivity as a weakness or a as a fault in my own character. I am struggling the past few weeks with keeping my emotions in check over the fears I have for my child growing up in these times. I have cried more the last few weeks than I have in years, literally. None of it has anything to do with my dogs or training.

Recently, I shared a video of Grit and I messing around out back with the sheep. I didn’t do it to get any sort of accolades or two show off or ‘showcase’ my dog. I guess I don’t really know WHY I shared it other than it was a few moments in time where I felt happy to be outside in beautiful weather with my dog doing something I’ve dreamed of doing for a long time. I didn’t necessarily want or ask for anyone’s opinion but I do understand I subject myself to such things each time I share anything publicly. We were not, are not, perfect. I am not a good handler (yet). He has great potential but is most certainly being held back by me learning still.

After posting that video someone reached out to me and told me I should take it down immediately. It was not “good” and I was not showing my dog in a good light. I will add, he wasn’t misbehaving or being unfair to his sheep at all. I would expect and feel comments to remove such videos would be wholly justified. Yet, the sheep were quite settled as he is a kind dog with no ill will. The person was likely not trying to come off as mean but I took it to heart, more so than if it were ‘normal times’ as I have been more sensitive. I don’t say any of this to call the person out. I am saying this because I feel it necessary to share my experience so others can gain some insight. There is a huge learning curve to sheepdog training. It’s HARD!

As I said, I am NOT here to talk crap about the person that wrote to me. In fact, I’m taking her messages and using them as motivation to get better and for that I am grateful. I will work harder because of what she said. My dog and I ARE worthy of sharing our experiences together even when we are not perfect. BUT...not everyone is able to turn things like this into motivation. Some folks would have been truly hurt and very discouraged and disheartened. I did remove the video before I was able to process and think it through. I took it down as a knee jerk reaction because someone that ‘knows more than me’ told me it wasn’t good enough to share. I was embarrassed. I was worried about looking stupid. I didn’t want to embarrass my instructor (which I know I don’t NEED to worry about). I wish now that I hadn’t removed it because maybe in a year I would have been able to look back to see how far we have come. Several lessons learned and none of them were about the actual work I was doing with my dog.

Anyways, my entire point of this long winded post is for the people who are trying their hand at something new, anything. Find your people. Find the ones who inspire you and don’t let them go. For those out there who have mastered their art ...be kind. Be aware of how your words will affect someone who is getting their feet wet. Know that you have the power to either encourage someone or totally discourage them from wanting to go any further. In your effort to “help” your words may hinder someone who is lacking the confidence to push past the negatives. On the whole, the dog training world is harsh...but guess what, even those who are the ‘greatest’ have had to fail in order to learn. Share the imperfect videos. Share your failures as much as your successes...the fact that you keep going after your goals despite a failure is the real inspiration to others. Chin up. Eyes on the prize. Be the inspiration.